victim vs growth mentality: where do you stand?

*Link to podcast episode on the topic:–Growth-Mindset-Where-Do-You-Stand-erjm58

Many empaths struggle with victim mentality. People struggling with victim mentality do typically see themselves as a victim. We don’t want to be there, but we do when we become consumed by our fear-based thoughts. Get ready for some tough love (in the most compassionate way). Let’s go over some key signs of having a victim mentality:

  • Poor me attitude
  • Focused on what others are doing to you
  • Difficulty taking responsibility for one’s own role in their disempowerment
  • The perception that people are always against you
  • Blaming others for not meeting our needs
  • Constantly complaining or venting about life and how you can’t do anything to change your situation

Many factors play into the reason why empaths struggle with victim mentality (ex. co-dependent relationships, past trauma, etc.), but discernment plays a huge role in whether we are operating in victim vs growth mentality as empaths.

Many of us empaths struggle with discernment. But what is discernment exactly?Discernment: The ability to judge well, distinguishing what is right/wrong for you. It’s the ability to determine the difference between what your truth is and what a lie is. When we grew up as empaths, we often found ourselves being taught to not trust our intuition by our caregivers or the adults around us.

Maybe your insights got you in trouble and it led you to seek out validation from others and to be fearful of making decisions that felt good to you and your inner knowing.

We might’ve even ended up in a codependent relationship because we can’t trust our own feelings. This big hot mess of disempowerment probably skyrocketed us into fear and a victim mindset. Then we start to think:

  • Will I ever be able to trust my gut?
  • Why can’t I have a mutually satisfying relationship that allows me to feel freedom and autonomy as an individual who is capable of making their own decisions?
  • Will I ever be able to speak my truth and stand strong in what I believe in based on my own judgement?
  • Can I actually feel the fear and accomplish things anyway?
  • Will I feel unfulfilled and disempowered forever?
  • I’ve already tried so hard and it never works

It’s crucial for empaths to validate themselves from within. You are worthy because you are. Not because of anything external you do or achieve. Not because of how proud you make your loved ones.Once you learn discernment, you’ll be able to trust in your own feelings and intuition more. And with this strong inner trust, you’ll be able to feel more empowered and you will start to trust your ability to achieve a lot more than you think you can.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), we like to use the formula for success. This refers to the idea that being at cause is greater than being in effect (results are greater than reasons). Empowerment means moving from being in effect to being at cause. If something isn’t working for you (in an area of life), it’s likely that you’re being at effect or something or something.

The responsibility is always on you (harsh truth). You have to do the work for yourself.

I’d love to invite you to join me in the Empath Empowerment Coaching Course. Join me for this 8-week, 1:1 coaching program for empaths who want to understand their gifts, overcome energetic overwhelm, release limiting beliefs, and build better boundaries in their relationships.

*For more details on how to work with me, please visit this link: