Join Naomi for her livestream audio replay on the topic of empaths and the fear of conflict.
*LINK TO PODCAST EPISODE: https://anchor.fm/thatsdeep/episodes/Conflict-isnt-bad–its-necessary-eql10f
I share my story on how I used to be deathly afraid of conflict as an empath growing up + in my adulthood. I used to allow myself to be mistreated and taken advantage of (i.e., I was painfully shy, had a hard time speaking up, and let others walk all over me just so I wouldn’t upset the other person or start conflict in fear of being rejected or abandoned).
Example: As a kid, I would discuss my ideas/insights with someone and they’d repeatedly take it and pass it off as their own because I didn’t typically share/speak up (and I wouldn’t say anything or confront the person/problem, then I would feel resentful).
These lessons continue to present themselves in adulthood (it’s normal for all of us). The same lessons will repeat themselves until we’ve finally learned them). So here’s the uncomfortable part. Someone in the online coaching space started copying/duplicating my work, passing it off as their own, and trying to sell it (thanks repeated life lessons). First, I gave myself space to process my emotions (disappointment, frustration) because it showed me where my boundaries were, CLEARLY. It was hard to process, because this person actually received a session from me for the same service that they were trying to pass off as their own (I mean, down to using the exact name of my service + what it entails ya’ll). Ouch.I was really hesitant to discuss this today because I was worried about hurting this person’s feelings. And while I think people need to be held accountable, I also think cancel culture can be pretty messy and my intention is not to smother this person’s light or harm them back. I know that they can do better and create their own work (they’ve got it in themselves, they are a powerful creator). Scratching your head in confusion there? I bet you’re wondering, “Why are you fuming, Naomi?” Well, I still have compassion for her (yep, you know what I mean if you’re an empath). I know that the copying isn’t anything personal, but that it has more to do with them and what they’ve got going on.
Like they say in the writing community, people “rob and duplicate” as a content creation strategy. But it doesn’t mean plagiarize or steal someone’s intellectual property (that’s a boundary violation for me).
The lesson: It’s important to set and maintain boundaries, even when it’s uncomfortable to be in conflict with someone. It shows both others and yourself how you expect to be treated and what you will/will not tolerate. It’s also important to speak your truth so you don’t minimize your self-worth and allow people to treat you in just any old way.
Sometimes is conflict petty and not worth bothering with when you’ve got other things to focus on? Yes. But be clear on what your boundaries are when you find yourself facing conflict.
Stronger boundaries = stronger satisfaction in the way you expect to be treated in relationships (romantic, platonic, family). These types of misconceptions are deeply rooted in self-limiting beliefs. And self-limiting beliefs live in the subconscious mind. Which is why NLP is a great tool to release them.
*For more details on how you can work with me 1:1 for private coaching, please visit this link: https://naomicourtneycoaching.com/empowered-empath-coaching-course/
*Link to free empath type quiz: https://naomicourtneycoaching.com/empath-quiz/